Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
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