well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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