i think my mom watched the whole time
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
