So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
