Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize