you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
