At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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