it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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