I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
