You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
