That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
