I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
