So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
