I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I want to fling myself into the sun
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
