A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Sorry about my life...
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