I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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