Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
