She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
