Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
