I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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