i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
