Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
