I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
