Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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