Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
