piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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