What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you still have your period?
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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