You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
