Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize