cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
