Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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