JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
