You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize