dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
