similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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