Bisexual people are plain selfish.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
