she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
