Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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