I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
