"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
