I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
