It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
