I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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