The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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