It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
