she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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