she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize