so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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