worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
