is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am naked and annoyed.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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