God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
