i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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