sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
