just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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