You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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