You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
