I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
