I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
