she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
